


Holding Back

by Bothers_McWritey



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Disk Drunk | Infected Adora (She-Ra), Gen, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bothers_McWritey/pseuds/Bothers_McWritey
Summary: Set shortly after S2E5, when Adora gets infected and hulks out on Catra.Catra can't sleep and struggles to process the fact that she just got her ass handed to her by She-Ra. And that her best-frenemy actually tried to kill her.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Holding Back

“Don’t move!”

“Oh please, you’d never have the _guts_ ”, Catra replied with a smirk. “You know, as much as I love our fights,” she continued, reaching behind her back, “it’s _way_ too cold for this. Why don’t we try something new?”. Catra thrust the pointed disk forward, pressing it against the small runestone embedded into the handle of She-Ra’s sword, her eyes widening with delight as red tendrils sprouted from the point of contact. Adora cried out, clutching her head in pain as waves of red energy poured out of the sword.

_This was too easy._

*****************

Catra awoke with a start, scrabbling to stay in place as the hammock lurched chaotically beneath her. Her eyes darted back and forth, searching for signs of her _attacker_ , for red eyes burning with hatred in the darkness. She sighed with relief as she realised where she was: aboard the Horde transport ship, 2 days into their journey back to the Fright Zone. _It’s fine, just a rough patch of sea or something,_ Catra thought to herself, pushing the glowing red eyes from her mind. _Ugh, why did it have to be a boat?_

She took stock of the spartan interior of her quarters as the hammock rocked again. _Why won’t this stupid thing just stay still? What kind of a person designs a bed that moves anyway?_ Somewhere on this ship there must be something that could make an actual, solid bed, and even if there wasn’t there was no way she could sleep in this _thing_.

She jumped down to the deck, wincing as her left foot touched the floor. The sound of She-Ra’s laughter filled her head, and Catra could almost still feel She-Ra’s hand clamped around her ankle, crushing it like a vice. She shook her head, growling to herself as she stormed out the door and into the corridor beyond.

_So I got a little beaten up, no big deal. Adora beat me plenty of times when we were training._ Catra hauled open the bulkhead leading into the cargo hold, pulling it shut behind her as she stepped through. _Besides, we_ got _what we came for._ Catra started pulling open crates, rooting around inside for anything that even vaguely resembled a bed mat.

_But we almost had She-Ra. I- We almost had Adora._

Catra paused for a moment, eyes glazing over as she thought about the opportunity that had just slipped through her fingers. _We could’ve ended the war there and then. We could have forced Adora back to the Fright Zone_ and _destroyed those stupid, theiving princ-_

Catra slammed the lid of the crate shut and turned away from it. _So what? I don’t need She-Ra to win this war. I don’t need her, and I never have._ She took a deep breath, and hauled the crate out of the way to access the one below it. As she did so a jolt of pain ran up her spine, and she saw little flakes of white drifting through the night air as her back was slammed into the ground. She growled with frustration.

_Why does everything in this stupid boat have to be so damned annoying?_

She paced up and down the small cargo compartment for a few minutes, growling and muttering to herself. They’d probably left all the bed mats behind when they ran- sorry, _withdrew_ from the Northern Reach. And even if they did have any, it wouldn’t help with the constant swaying of the ship. Catra turned to leave, abandoning the displaced crates where they were. As she stepped through the bulkhead again she decided to head up to the top deck, maybe some fresh air would help.

As she climbed the stairs up to the top deck, an image flashed through her head: She-Ra stood over her, sword raised to strike, red eyes filled with a manic rage as she brought the blade down to deliver the killing blow. She shook her head again, blinking furiously to get the picture - the memory - from her mind.

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”, She yelled, slamming open the door to the outside. A blast of cold air hit her, and although not nearly as bad as it had been 2 days ago, Catra still shivered. She walked over to the railing and looked out at the endless ocean, desperately trying to fill her mind with anything else. She looked down, and focused on the gentle lapping of the waves against the hull, as the ship cut its way across the calm blue sea.

_Wait a minute,_ Catra thought, casting her gaze across the horizon. _There’s no waves._ In fact, the sea was almost perfectly calm that night, the still blue water reflecting the image of the moons in the sky. And if there were no waves, then it wasn’t rough seas that woke her.

Catra’s eyes narrowed as she thought back to the moment of waking up, and the desperate panic, believing she was under attack. She thought of the image of She-Ra - of Adora - staring at her with nothing but rage and hatred as she tried to bring her sword down on Catra’s body. And then Catra realised something. _I was afraid. That was the first time I’ve ever been_ scared _when fighting Adora. She... She was genuinely trying to kill me._

Catra felt sick, and her legs felt numb as she leant on the handrail for support. _She-Ra... Adora tried to kill me, and she nearly succeeded._ Catra felt the bruise on her cheek where Adora had punched her aside. The sprain in her ankle from being plucked out of the air and tossed aside. The dull ache down her entire body from being slammed into the icy ground. And that’s when she had her second realisation of the night.

_She’d been holding back. All those years in training, at the Sea Gate, at Princess Prom. Even at Bright Moon, when she thought the Horde was about to destroy her precious ‘rebellion’, Adora had been holding back. She always had been._

_Until now._

A wave of exhaustion washed over her, and Catra turned to head back to her quarters. She thought about how easily Adora had beaten her, how _quickly_ the fight was over when Adora wasn’t trying to _protect_ her. Catra shuddered, and was suddenly indescribably grateful that Scorpia had destroyed that disk.

Well, at least now she knew the hammock wasn’t the problem.

**Author's Note:**

> I just re-watched this episode, and it really struck me just how easily corrupt She-Ra beats Catra, and also how clearly she was absolutely trying to kill her. I feel like that would've shaken Catra up a lot more than we're shown, so here we are. I think the pacing of this is a little off, I probably could have done with padding it out a *lot* more.
> 
> I should probably try to write something that *doesn't* feature insomnia next.


End file.
